


It Is What It Is

by Jiwels



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, basically just self-indulgence here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-31
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-27 20:15:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1721168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jiwels/pseuds/Jiwels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes all you need is a catalyst. Or two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Is What It Is

Danneel breaks up with him on Sunday, the twenty-seventh of September. Jensen can honestly say he didn’t see it coming. But maybe he should have. The rest of the day he lies on the couch and feels sorry for himself.

When Jared gets home from grocery shopping he asks, “What are you doing?”

And Jensen says, “I’m feeling sorry for myself.”

But for some reason, Jensen can’t tell Jared about the breakup.  


~  


The next morning when Jensen wakes up, the first word on his lips is Jared’s name. He tells himself it’s because he feels guilty. To be fair, it isn’t really lying. Jared hasn’t asked, so Jensen hasn’t told him.

Jensen huffs and crosses his arms.

"I hate Jared." he says aloud. "He’s the worst. I hate him. He sucks. And I so don’t need to be honest with him. Because I don’t like him. I don’t."

Jensen points at his lamp, “I hate him, you hear?”

He wonders briefly if Jared can hear him from his room. If he could, maybe he’d hate Jensen back, force him to move out and Jensen would never have to tell him anything. Jensen doesn’t even want that to happen, but he really doesn’t want to tell Jared about Danneel.

So Jensen yells, “I hate you Jared!”

And from the other room he hears, “You love me and you know it!”

Jensen sighs again.

“Dammit.” he says finally.

~  
Jensen wants to call her a million times. What he really wants is for her to be there with him. They did date for a whole year, after all. He used to play with her hair, and she would straighten his ties, and Jensen’s having trouble letting go of that. Of all of it. But he only calls her twice to check in and neither time does he actually ask what he’s wondering.

It doesn’t matter because Jensen thinks he might know. He just wanted confirmation.

~  
Jensen thinks a lot in the next couple of days when he should be sleeping. And during work, he’s watching Jared. He still doesn’t quite know what he’s looking for, but somehow between the laughter and the touching and the dimples and the piles of food Jared brings to his trailer, he thinks he’s found it.

~  
Jensen kind of wants to leave the country. Maybe drive across the border in a sports car and crash it somewhere between Vancouver and L.A. It feels a little like a mid-life crisis, which scares him a bit. He also misses Danneel, so he calls her for the third time since they split.

“Jensen, I think you know what you want.” Danneel says, sounding both frustrated and gentle. It’s kind of hard to tell through the phone.

“Yeah,” Jensen says dejectedly, then follows it with, “I’m sorry.”

“Shut up. Most people are a lot happier to find out they’re in love.” Danneel points out.

“I’ll go get the streamers and confetti.”

She just tells him to shut up again and stop stalling before she hangs up.

~  
They’re on the couch watching a football game a month later when Jared finally asks. Jensen thinks he probably wanted to ask before then, but didn’t. Sometimes Jared surprises him with his sensitivity. For a giant puppy, he can be weirdly tactful.

"Jensen, how are things with you and Danneel?" Jared asks, muting the TV.

"Fine, we’re fine.” He says, then laughs awkwardly and picks at a loose thread in his sleeve, “Why do you ask?”

Jared waits.

"We broke up.” Jensen mumbles.

Jared pulls Jensen into a hug and doesn’t let go.

“You should have told me.”

Jensen nods and buries his face in Jared’s shoulder and feels better than he has all month.

He is so screwed.

~  
A week later, Jensen is still screwed. So far, his plan is to be totally 100% sure that Jared loves him back before he spills the beans. But Jared, the fucker, isn’t giving him any out of the ordinary I’m-in-love-with-you-and-want-to-get-gay-married type signals. And it’s getting to be problem because no matter how cliché it sounds, this isn’t something Jensen can keep to himself.

So Jensen decides to take drastic measures. He calls Chad.

And the thing is, he likes Chad. He would never tell him that, and he might not be the type of friend you would introduce to your parents, but he’s honest (usually painfully), and sometimes even helpful (not usually, but sometimes).

“The illustrious and distinguished Chad Michael Murray, at your service,” Chad answers brightly.

“Hey Chad, its Jensen.”

“Ahh, the small homo. Have you fucked the big homo yet? Or has he fucked you? I’m all about equal opportunity you know.”

“Umm…working on it? Also that’s offensive.” Jensen says. He’s not really sure which part, but there was definitely something.

“Well it’s about damn time. My dick was about to fall off in sympathy.” Yep, this was a bad idea. No going back now though.

“Right okay, well actually that’s what I’m calling about.” Jensen gets out in a rush.

“Jenny, are you seriously calling so I can give you advice on how to seduce Jared? Because you know I was his friend first, so my loyalties rest with him.”

“But this would be good for him. You’re always going on about how he needs to get laid. This would get him laid.” Jensen says hopefully.

“Ew, but fine. What do you need?”

Jensen breathes a sigh of relief, “Great, just tell me what he likes in girl and I’ll just apply it to myself. But not Sandy, because I already know her and if I started acting like her it would be too obvious.”

“Um, boobs? A vagina? With Jared you never really know.”

Jensen rolls his eyes, “First of all that’s you, not Jared. Second, I thought you were trying to be helpful.”

“I am!” Chad protests indignantly, “Not my fault if you’re unwilling to take the necessary steps. This is your one true love, you know.”

“Well think of something else!”

“Okay I have an idea. But I can’t tell you yet.” Chad says cryptically and hangs up. Jensen groans. People seem to be hanging up on him a lot lately.

“Thanks for the sex advice, you bastard.” Jensen mutters to the absent Chad before turning around and catching sight of Jared, smirking in the doorway.

“Who was that?”

“My mom.” Jensen says stupidly.

“Your mom was giving you sex advice?” Jared asks, his eyebrows disappearing under his bangs as he looks both disturbed and like he’s trying not to laugh.

“Maybe.” Jensen says haughtily, and leaves the room with as much dignity as he can muster, Jared’s laughter following him all the way to his room.

~  
A few days later Jared walks into the living room where Jensen is looking for a book.

“So uhh, Chad called,” Jared starts, and when Jensen turns around to look at him, he’s smirking. Fucking Chad. His heart starts racing and his palms are sweaty. He wipes them surreptitiously on his jeans.

“Oh yeah?” he asks casually.

“Yeah. And he was insisting that you were in “big gay homo love with me”, he continues, oblivious to Jensen’s state. “Which is weird because you’d think that gay and homo would cancel each other out.”

He looks at Jensen expectantly.

"I love you.”

Jared stares at him, “What?”

“I said I love you. “ He wishes his heart would stop beating so fast. “I love you, and if you want me to leave I will. But I’d rather stay and love you than leave and love you. If you’ll let me.”

Jared makes a choked sound and moves to stand in front of Jensen. There’s a moment of silence and Jensen hasn’t felt this terrified ever.

“Stay.” Jared finally says.


End file.
